You know, I finished school, like you always hoped I would. "Don't do what I did" you'd always say. But you know what, not everyone finished school, but we're all ok. R & E are both starting courses in September and L wants to be a Geography teacher. I'm sure that wouldn't surprise you. I know you'd be proud of us all. I'm now at university in England. So I'm slowly learning to be independent. I've been learning to cook recently, something you were very good at - Mum gave me some of your secret tips. I also live in a flat, on the last floor, like you did. I wonder if you used to stare at the sunset like I do. Did you find that relaxing too?
I know your secret. We all know. I only found out a year ago. And you know what? It's ok. I love you and it doesn't change anything. I wish you knew that. It must have been difficult for you, I'm sorry about that. And I'm sorry about the pain you went through because of it.
I went home in June and guess what I found? I was going through old photo albums and I found your old cassettes where you recorded yourself singing to us. I didn't think they'd work but some still do and it felt so good to hear your voice again. You really loved us, I know you did. And I don't care what people say, you made us feel loved and that's all that matters. I think that's the best thing you can do for someone. Mum says you'd write those songs at 2am or something - whenever you felt like writing or playing.
I also found the last song you wrote. I was going through your stuff and I wasn't expecting to find anything I didn't know about, but there it was. It made me cry. I showed it to Mum. It's a beautiful song. Thank you. A melody that I sing to myself from time to time and lyrics I can't forget.
I hope you're still singing up there. I hope you're at peace with yourself. The man I knew was a good man.
I miss you xxx
❤
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